the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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