I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dignity is for republicans.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
