i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
