i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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