time to smoke my breakfast
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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