Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
sex in a hospital.. check
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
