if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
