You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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