is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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