I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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