would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
