Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
