Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
