I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
