Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im six kinds of drunk right now
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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