Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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