she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
