At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
