Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
