And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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