A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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