I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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