i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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