Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize