That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
