Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I love you. Go after that dick
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