Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
