Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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