well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
