Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
