taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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