I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
