So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
