I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
