god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
