i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize