my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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