At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize