just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
