He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
