But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
