No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
