You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize