check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
