Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
