i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
