I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize