billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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