During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize