im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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