whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
