okay pat passed out under dana's car
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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