My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
