Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
