this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
