I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
