Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
