I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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